I feel so guilty about being depressed or happy...?

I feel depressed because of many reasons..my family problems..my appearance.. being friendless and having no one to confide to..being alone al the time..my paranoia that everyone is watching and judging me constantly..But whenever i do, which is always, i feel a certain guilt..like, i dont have the right to be depressed becus so much more people,(my parents, everyone), have more and bigger problems than i do...I always cry alone in the bathroom where no one can see or hear me so that i anger or annoy anyone..When im with other people i dnt give much trace of being depressed, instead i feel like some apathetic robot..i cnt even help it..i dnt find any of the things i used to love enjoyable anymore..i feel tired for no reason all the time..its like being trapped in a bubble but i feel like i cnt stay in there becus of all the others who have bigger problems than me who actually have the right to stay..then during those rare times when i actually feel something, like being a bit happy, i remember all those people again..i feel like i dnt deserve this, i dnt deserve to be happy becus i ddnt earn it... compare wat ive done to all those others whove done better things than me and been through worse i feel like a spoiled and self centered brat...i cnt seem to reach wats in between depression and happiness..its always one or the other..